Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Randomize
