When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
