I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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