No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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