Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
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