He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
its not stalking. its research.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
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