i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
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