Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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