Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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