she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
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