just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
