True but thats because hes a fetus.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize