I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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