Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
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