I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
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