I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
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