fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
