No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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