everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
