Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
fuck your aforementioned shoe
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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