the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I touched a dick in church today
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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