It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
how drunk are you?
Several
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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