So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
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