she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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