Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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