Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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