On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
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