So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
Randomize