Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
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