I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
