i would punch a child for taco bell
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize
