I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
