Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize