Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
