I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
