Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
