everyone is single if you try hard enough
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
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