just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize