No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
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