Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
