yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Randomize
