insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
