bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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