Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
i think i just naturally attract stoners
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