Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
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