He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
