I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
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