Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize