Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
