Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
My vagina just recognized that song.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
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