What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Randomize