I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Randomize
