One girl and one boy is just not enough.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Randomize
