if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
