A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Randomize
