i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize