You're completely useless in the revolution.
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
this will be a night to untag.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
