whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize
