in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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